At the beginning of time, there was a wanderer who got lonely floating amongst the stars. He thought himself infinitely more wise and omniscient and frankly, the stars were fed up with his arrogance. With an invisible huff, he found himself ostracised. Desperate to prove his awesome powers and growing ever so weary of being alone, thoughts of creation ricocheted through his celestial orb of conscious thought.
Man. A broad thorax with four appendages, two connected laterally and two inferior. Each appendage would have five digits to hold things or to balance. His skin would reflect all the colours of space.
He peered into the distance of the universe finding the exact spot far enough away from any celestial beings to commence his project. The excited tightness in his astral stomach exploded in a silent orgasm of divine seed. And it was good because man was to be in his image, yes? But as the wanderer looked upon the rock on which he came, he noticed that man looked more like a hideous hairy creäture, not at all like he planned. Realising the stars were right for mocking him and hating the idiotic monsters he ejaculated, the wanderer popped out of existence. Little did he know that in millions of years, man would become everything he dreamed and more.
Point to be taken:
1. It is ridiculous that god is considered male.
B. God is a deadbeat dad.
Penultimate, good things come to those who wait.
And last, It is ridiculous to believe in any kind of god anyway.
